Jumping Sturgeon Injures Woman

From the AP:

ROCK BLUFF, FL (AP) -- A woman was injured over the weekend by a leaping sturgeon, the latest incident involving the flying fish on the Suwannee River, officials said.

Tara Spears, 32, of Bell, was knocked unconscious by the animal on Sunday while boating on the river north of Rock Bluff, the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission reported.

She was taken to a hospital with non-life-threatening injuries and was expected to recover, the agency reported.

The large, prehistoric-looking sturgeon have hard plates along their backs. They can grow up to 8 feet long and up to 200 pounds.

-----

Someone with the name 'spears' is attacked by a fish. You can't make this stuff up.

--Will

The Wrong Kind of Boost

From the AP:

NEW YORK - A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized.

The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of New York said he bought the nutrition beverage made by the pharmaceutical company Novartis AG (NVS) at a drugstore on June 5, 2004, and drank it.

Woods' court papers say he woke up the next morning "with an erection that would not subside" and sought treatment that day for the condition, called severe priapism.

They say Woods, 29, underwent surgery for implantation of a Winter shunt, which moves blood from one area to another.

...

Novartis' Boost Plus Web site describes the drink as "a great tasting, high calorie, nutritionally complete oral supplement for people who require extra energy and protein in a limited volume," in vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.

He needed surgery?!? I thought the cure for priapism was marriage.

The same thing happened to me after I drank a Boost Plus. The problem was compounded by my taking iron supplements at the time. Every time I sat in my chair it swiveled to point north.

--Will

Be Verwee Quiet, I'm Hunting Wabbit

From Spiegel Online:

An elderly Austrian woman required hospital treatment after being attacked by what was described as a 'crazed hare.' Police were forced to shoot the rampaging beast before it could hurt anybody else.

In a scene eerily reminiscent of the attack of the "most foul, cruel, and bad tempered" rabbit in the cult movie "Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail," the Linz hare assaulted a 74-year-old woman who was hanging laundry in her garden early Monday morning. The animal, described as a "crazed hare" in a statement by Linz police department, bit the woman's foot, causing her to fall.

The unidentified woman, still under attack by the rampant hare, was eventually able to escape into her home, where her husband called the police before going outside to attempt to shoo the bunny away.

When police arrived on the scene, they found the 78-year-old man fighting the hare off with a stick -- and losing. Police asked the man to go inside. When the hare refused to give up the fight, the police were forced to shoot and kill the animal.

==========

The Easter Bunny waking up from his post-holiday drinking binge?

I'm Guessing More Than the Ball was Spiked

From the BBC News:

Brawl halts team sports in Greece

Greek authorities have cancelled all team sports matches for two weeks after a mass brawl between rival women's volleyball fans left one man dead.

"All team sports will be suspended... until 13 April," a government spokesman said after a cabinet meeting called to discuss the violence.

The pitched battle took place between fans of Olympiakos Piraeus and Panathinaikos near Athens.

======
After a WOMAN'S volleyball game??? Of all the things I'd feel compelled to engage in after watching a dozen lean, leggy, athletic women scurrying about in shorts, brawling ain't one of them.

Another Booth I Missed During 'Career Day'

From the BBC:

Durex has launched its first UK recruitment drive for thousands of condom testers. The condom maker wants a panel of 5,000 people who are single, married, or in couples to report their experiences of using its condoms and lubricants.

-----
Another booth I somehow missed at 'Career Day' in high school.

Hot baths cut chance of fatherhood

From The Independent (UK)

Men seeking to become a father should avoid soaking in hot baths, according to a study on male fertility.

A three-year pilot project involving 11 men found that there was some truth in the old wives' tale about hot baths being bad for a man's prospects of conceiving.

==========

I'm pretty certain any woman we ask will tell us NOT taking hot baths will also reduce the chance of a man becoming a father.

Body Parts Delivered to Michigan Home

From the AP:

CASCADE TOWNSHIP, Mich. (AP) - Two packages containing human body parts - including a liver and part of a head - meant for a medical research lab instead were delivered to a home.

The body parts, sent from China, were mistakenly dropped off Thursday at Franck and Ludivine Larmande's home by a DHL express driver who believed the bubble-wrapped items were pieces to a table.

...

Authorities believe 28 more bubble-wrapped human organs and body parts could be dispersed across the country, The Grand Rapids Press reported.

=========

For anyone who's said they'd give an arm and a leg for a good, fast, reliable delivery company ...

Australian Woman Sentenced for Smuggling Fish

From the AP:

MELBOURNE, Australia - An Australian woman was sentenced Friday to nine months of community service work for smuggling protected fish from Asia in her dress.

Sharon Naismith, 45, was caught in June 2005 ... officers heard "flipping" noises coming from her clothes and conducted a search, Australian Customs said.

In a specially made apron under her dress, they found 15 plastic bags filled with water and fish: one rare Asian arowana that customs said was worth tens of thousands of dollars, and 14 catfish.

==========
Pardon me Miss, is that an arowana in your dress, or are you just happy to see me?

Couple Plan to Tie the Knot in Graveyard

A midwest couple plan to marry in a graveyard.

The groom, Scott Amslera, a computer expert for a financial company, is also a rehabber of old hearses. The bride, Miranda Patterson, offers the assurance: "We're not going to do anything stupid or horrible. We just want to have a wedding."

Ms. Patterson points out that it doesn't matter where thet get married, just as long as they get married.

I've heard of wives driving their husbands to an early grave, but this has got to be some kind of record.