Pamela Anderson: Animal Lover

Pamela Anderson, well known blonde and PETA member, has suddenly realized her Australian sheepskin ugg boots are made of ... sheepskins. She will stop wearing them, and ... says she is designing her own version using synthetic materials.

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I think she will do well. It is clear when looking at Ms Anderson (especially when she's in a swimsuit) that she has quick and easy access to an abundance of synthetic materials.

Asteroid Heading Toward Earth!!!

Scientists reported this week that on April 13, 2036, an asteroid has a 1 in 45,000 chance of hitting Earth.

Note: April 13, 2036 is Easter Sunday.

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Might want to schedule your Easter egg hunts for earlier in the day.

But don't worry, the U.N. is on the case. Yeah, right. They can't stop genicide here on Earth in Darfur, but they'll be able to stop an asteroid hurtling toward the planet. Especially if the Lord is timing it for an Easter surprise.

Climbers Rescued on Mt. Hood

Good news concerning the rescue of the stranded climbers on Mount Hood.

The two women and a man were rescued after surviving a brutal night huddled in sleeping bags, shielding themselves from high winds.

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Seems like a lot of trouble for a guy to go through to live the fantasy of spending the night with two women.

Couple Plan to Tie the Knot in Graveyard

A midwest couple plan to marry in a graveyard.

The groom, Scott Amslera, a computer expert for a financial company, is also a rehabber of old hearses. The bride, Miranda Patterson, offers the assurance: "We're not going to do anything stupid or horrible. We just want to have a wedding."

Ms. Patterson points out that it doesn't matter where thet get married, just as long as they get married.

I've heard of wives driving their husbands to an early grave, but this has got to be some kind of record.

Her Baby's Daddy

I am NOT the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby.

Just wanted to get that on public record.

Brutney Spears Shaves Her ... What?

You don't suppose Britney Spears misinterpreted an overhead remark someone made about some guys finding shaved women sexy? I mean, she is, after all, a blonde. Or was.

Welcome to the 'On Wry Bread' Blog. Why 'On Wry Bread'? Because the humor will be sarcastic, sardonic, and severly slanted while served up in sandwich form. No large, 3-course meals here. Just snack-sized, short and to the point ... fluffy and non-filling, wanting you to come back for more.