Hugh Grant, Environmentalist

From FoxNews.com

Hugh Grant Arrested After Alleged 'Baked Beans' Attack on Photographer

LONDON — Hugh Grant has been arrested for allegedly throwing a container of baked beans at a photographer, London police said.

The Metropolitan Police don't identify suspects who haven't been charged, but said a 46-year-old man was arrested Wednesday night on suspicion of assault and released on bail. No charges have been filed, police said.

Grant's lawyers weren't immediately available for comment.

Photographer Ian Whittaker told the Daily Star tabloid that Grant had kicked him and shouted abuse before hurling the beans at him Tuesday morning.

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Actor Hugh Grant soldifies his credentials by using baked beans in an attack BEFORE he's eaten them, not after.

Carbon Neutral

Searching around my cluttered mind, I've remembered a bit of basic geology, and had a thought about this environmental concept of living a 'carbon neutral' life.

Diamonds are made of carbon.

Does this mean guys should stop giving women diamonds?

Be Verwee Quiet, I'm Hunting Wabbit

From Spiegel Online:

An elderly Austrian woman required hospital treatment after being attacked by what was described as a 'crazed hare.' Police were forced to shoot the rampaging beast before it could hurt anybody else.

In a scene eerily reminiscent of the attack of the "most foul, cruel, and bad tempered" rabbit in the cult movie "Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail," the Linz hare assaulted a 74-year-old woman who was hanging laundry in her garden early Monday morning. The animal, described as a "crazed hare" in a statement by Linz police department, bit the woman's foot, causing her to fall.

The unidentified woman, still under attack by the rampant hare, was eventually able to escape into her home, where her husband called the police before going outside to attempt to shoo the bunny away.

When police arrived on the scene, they found the 78-year-old man fighting the hare off with a stick -- and losing. Police asked the man to go inside. When the hare refused to give up the fight, the police were forced to shoot and kill the animal.

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The Easter Bunny waking up from his post-holiday drinking binge?

Someone Needs to Shoot ...

The guy who came up with the 'Heat Index' measurement. Shoot him.

I live in Central Texas. When its a 101 degrees I don't need someone telling me: It feels like 110 degrees.

Shot him.

And save a bullet for the first person who ever said: But its a dry heat.

Our Long National Nightmare is Over

From the AP:

DNA analysis has proven that former Anna Nicole Smith boyfriend Larry Birkhead is the father of her infant daughter, an expert in genetic evidence said Tuesday following a closed court hearing in a legal battle for custody of the girl. Dr. Michael Baird, who analyzed the results of a March 21 DNA test, announced the results outside the court. ''Essentially, he's the biological father,'' Baird told reporters.

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With that determined we are all free to get along with our lives.

I told you it wasn't me.

Why Online Matchmaking Sites Are A Scam

Through exhaustive research I have come to believe that all those online 'matchmaking' services are a scam. It is one giant computer, and all they do is match a couple of words or phrases from the profiles you write with other member's profiles.

Exhibit 'A'.

When I wrote I wanted to get back into dating by starting small until I found myself, they hooked me up with a midget who sells GPS tracking systems.

Yoga for Dogs?!?

From the AP:

Humane Society Holds Dog Yoga Class

BELLEVUE, Wash. (AP) - By the end of their doggie yoga class, most of the wandering and sniffing participants are passed out on their mats, in a position their instructor calls the "upward facing belly pose."

Beans, a majestic 2-year-old Vizsla, however, is ready to play. The overgrown puppy has tried to relax with his owner, Chantale Anderson, but once Magnet the black lab heads off to explore the room, Beans is ready to go.

Mostly, however, both the dogs and the humans on a recent evening at the Seattle/King County Humane Society seemed relaxed and focused for about 40 minutes of "doggie yoga."

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Oh, come on. Does an animal that's already limber enough to lick itself into happy, restful oblivion really NEED yoga?